In Grace we walk
by Zauriel Angelus
Summary: This is my sequel to Where we Belong. Xander is pushed to the edge and his loyalty is tested. Strong doses of B/S, B/A , B/X and X/A here in this series.


**Disclaimer :** I own nothing and to quote a friend of mine , I refuse to believe that this is even necessary !!! but for traditions sake , all characters belong to their respective owners and the only right I have is the credit to this here as I tell you this story. 

**Rating :** Its mostly PG but I'm putting an R on it just in case. 

**Summary :**  Xander is pushed to the edge and His loyalty is tested. How will he respond ? What will be his reactions ? We'll see here the choices he would make.

**Author's notes :** This is my official sequel to 'Where we Belong'. You won't be too lost if you don't read it before starting this. It's a good jumping on point but I must say that this story would lack a bit of punch that way.  To those interested in reading it (insert shameless plugging- hee !! ) here's the addy - 

http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1187062 

Again be warned those who've read my work before. You might not like this. 

Strong doses of B/S, B/A and B/X here in this series of which this is the second. We will also deal with X/A here as well. Of course Xander still holds his significant place here. There's a huge amount of respect for Spike and everyone else too though. Seriously I just want this done right. That's all. It's also a lil answer to some stupid spoilers and other stuff I heard on the net as well as for some dumb fights I've been reluctantly pulled into.

Strangely enough though another fight sorta started because of what I wrote before this and so I hope to avoid that this time. Please just read and watch Xander's story here unravel. This is mainly a Xander fic and I hope you enjoy the ride. 

**Feedback :** yes please …?

**Dedication** : To everyone who read and reviewed 'Where We Belong'. My many many thanks for all your kind comments. I really appreciate everything that has been said. In no particular order my thanx again goes to -

Shawn (Ozmandayus) and Lori Bush for their inspiration, to Albert , Rob Clark , Megan , TC , Bill (Wbh21c) , Steve Howe , to Ray (Wicked RayGun) Rivera , who actually wrote his own sequel before this one of which was simply too awesome to describe. I hope I can do just as well with mine. To Coffee , Bolo , Teri , Steve , Jane McCartney , to MoonBunny and Buffy/Friend fan who were actually sweet B/A'ers , to Remy and Mooddog20 ,   

Thank you again so much. To all Buffy fans really but mainly a huge shout out to loyal Xander fans too. They stuck faithfully true through all the bull and crap they've been handed out. They're the fiercest yet nicest bunch of people I know. To B/X'ers - hope is something we'll never lose. To Spike fans and B/S'ers , life just would be boring without all the fights and bickering between us all. Truth be told we're very similar . Why ? Cos we're Buffy fans !!!! Wheeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!! 

~**~ 

**In Grace we Walk **… by Zauriel Angelus

~**~ 

_As time weeps upon the broken shadow of a moment , the pain of one man echoes an eternity. _

_Unforgiving was his return , the solace he seeks too far from his desperate reach. _

_A chant of voices mellowed with sorrow, words of sympathy unheard, whispered away …_

_Lightning flashed, crackling into the sky,  the voice of thunder roaring in symphony_

_… the silent chorus of crying bells shimmering the aisles of this day, _

_The heavens would fall , _

_And there … will only be tears._

-----------------------

" Xander… ?"

" No …nononononnoo- NO !!!". 

She came from out of nowhere. All I remember hearing was a voice calling my name and then a sudden explosion blinding us all. I had felt someone push me to the side and then I hit the ground hard. Don't know how long it'd been till I was conscious again but when I opened my eyes , there she was , bleeding to death.

_Anya_ … 

I made my way to her side as quickly as I could , blocking out the sharp pains in my side as I did. Her eyes were fading and her body weakening with every breath. 

" Ahn… What did you think you're doing ?" 

~ ** FLASHBACK ** ~ 

" Honey … what are you doing ? What's with the guitar ?"

She walked in through the door , had taken one look around the room before darkness suddenly plunged into her vision. A gasp caught her throat and when she waited for another moment , small lights started appearing one by one , all over the place. 

" Candles …?" 

" Willow taught me ."

A pleasant smell filled the air , its scent relaxing her. A vague outline of Xander's face appeared right in front of her and she walked closer to him , making out a slight smile on his face.

" What's all this ?"  she asked.

Music began playing , the delicate and fine strumming of a guitar singing sweetly. 

" It's a surprise for you."

Anya laughed softly as she wondered out loud. 

" Is this another musical ?" 

" …sshh … _listen_. "

Xander opened his mouth and started singing. Anya had heard Xander sing before but this time it was special. She would remember this for the rest of her life.

_"  I'm gonna make you smile whenever you're sad …_

_ Carry you around when your arthritis is bad ,_

_Well all I wanna do is grow old with you …" _

This song was for her …

~**~

" Trying to … t-trying to-to help. It's a trap. T-the whole thing is a shh—tupid … trick."  

She shook her head , trying to sound normal but as she tried to speak she kept coughing up blood as well. There was a silly lil' grin on her face as she looked up at me and for a moment I couldn't help but smile as well. 

" It's all a set-up. Everything …" 

" _Anya_…"

" You're okay right ?" 

" You should be worrying more about yourself Anya. Save your strength. Don't speak. I'll get Cordelia to fix you up in no time. She's the best medic ever I swear !!! She makes these small light thingies appear from her hands and poof !!! You'll get all better ." 

~**~ __

_"  I'd get your medicine, when your tummy aches… _

_ … build you a fire if the furnace breaks, _

_Oh , all I wanna do is grow old with you …"_

~**~

" Xan …" 

" You have to." 

I spared a moment to think before realizing there were no voices inside my head which meant that the telepathic link was gone. I was panicking right about then , the most important thing in my mind now was to get help. 

" CORDY !!!"  

I shouted out loud hoping that help would come my way , desperately wishing that someone … anyone at all would hear my pleas.

" Xander … you have to go now. They need you. Your friends …" 

" I'm needed he-" I started before getting cut off. 

" Listen to me _please_ , you can't save me. I'm-I'm … d-dying and you know it." 

" NO !!! I won't …" 

Violently I shook my head. Anya was wrong. I knew it. She'll live today. We'll make it. The both of us _together._ I would refuse to believe otherwise. 

" You'll be okay. Trust me."

" She _won't_ get here in time."  

~**~ 

_" I'd miss you , _

_Kiss you … _

_Give you my coat when you are cold," _

~**~

" I'm sorry Ahn … this is all my fault." 

I held Anya tightly in my arms , unsure of whether the gesture was meant to comfort her or myself. It started to get real cold and I shivered. It was then when I noticed she was wearing her favourite dress. The light emerald satin with white and yellow flowers decorated all over. I bought it for her last year. I didn't know she was keeping it. After the wedding fiasco, I'd assumed she burned everything I'd given to her. I … I didn't know.

" Oh God …"

The blood soaking through it was warm and that made me feel even colder. I couldn't stop the bleeding at all.

" If I wasn't so stupid , we would've been married so long ago and be out of Sunnyhell like you wanted. Our lives would no longer be in danger. I'd buy you that condo you dreamed of and we'd be free to make all the babies you need. It _shouldn't_ be like this." 

As I spoke my voice was cracking and I was shaking. I don't ever remember being so frightened in my entire life. It wasn't supposed to be like this. 

" Not this way." 

I shook my head still not believing it.

~**~

_" Need you ,_

_Feed you …_

_Even let you hold the remote control …"_

~**~

" Don't give me that bullshit. They're your friends. You can never ever leave them. That's the person you are. That's who I fell in love with. And I don't regret this. Not one bit. I c-came here back to tell you something important."

" I appreciate that a lot." 

Anya smiled at me with a soft chuckle.  

" I haven't told you yet silly. I came to say I love you."  

~**~ __

_" So let me wash the dishes in our kitchen sink … _

_Put you to bed when you had too much to drink," _

~**~

" Anya …" 

" God I can't keep this up. I'm gonna die."

The pain was getting worse , that much I could tell. I wracked my brain to think of how I could lessen her suffering but no ideas came. I could only hold her closer.

" Xander I'm _scared_. I'm gonna die." 

Anya was crying now , her lips shaking as she tried to speak. I tried to calm her down to no avail. Her voice was getting softer and softer and she shivered even more.

" I'm not like Buffy. I _won't_ go to heaven. I'm gonna burn. I've been so evil … So very _scared_. So scared." 

I didn't know what to say. There was no joke or quip upon my lips. Nothing to refute her words with. I wanted to tell her that it wasn't true , that she was a good person inside and that it will all be alright. That she had nothing to be afraid of. 

Alas the words would not come. 

" Xander I love you. I love you so much. God this really _sucks_ !!! I can't breathe… Xan-"

" Anya, I love you too. Can you hear me ? I LOVE YOU. Stay with me !!! Ahn !!!" 

~**~ __

_" Oh, it would be so nice … growing old with you." _

~**~

" Xander … I-I _can't _brea-" 

" Ahn …? _Anya_ …???"

There was another explosion but I didn't hear it. Strong arms grabbed me from behind pulling me away. I tried to resist , kicking and screaming away as I did. My efforts didn't change a damn thing however. 

Anya was gone.

~**~ __

_" I wanna grow old with you…" _

~**~

End part one – 

**End notes :** I felt this X/A centered part was real important. It needed to be written so as to illustrate some of the reasons why Xander then says and does the things he will do later on. I know there isn't any B/X interaction yet but trust me when I say that when that comes … it WILL completely knock your socks off. Gotta be patient for now guys. Next part will be posted  soon hopefully. 

Oh and before I almost forget , the song that Xander sang is by Adam Sandler from the Wedding singer soundtrack. I can't believe it actually fit here. In the context of this story , that song was just heartbreaking which made it a perfect fit. That said , I really hope you liked this part though. So tell me what you think k ? 

FEEDBACK !!!!!!!!!! 

Till next time I remain ……… 


End file.
